My crazy bf tends to connect to my phone and control it. I want to block any type of access
I’m sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately, this is probably not the best forum to help you.
The most direct way is to ask him to stop and to remove whatever he did to allow him this access.
If that is not possible, I suggest you start with Apple support:
If the website suggestions do not help, you should try to get an in-person appointment at a local Apple store so that they can help you directly.